There is no doubting that I have earned you the hard way, oh solitude. For I’ve gotten to know you better than anyone else. You give me the energy I need to make it through the day. You give me peace of mind in the midst of the chaos we call life. I had you when I didn’t want you. I had you when I wanted anything but you. I had you when nobody wanted me. You were my teacher, my mentor. You were my entertainment for so long. I couldn’t begin to count the number of tears we shed together, when it was just us and nobody else. We could write a book about all the journeys we embarked on from that little bedroom. I’ve spoken more words to you than any other person. I’ve counted on you and at the same time have taken you for granted. I doubted you, and you questioned me. In the end though, we always remained loyal to each other.
There were a few times I almost abandoned you. Forgive me for trying to be like the others, for they don’t even acknowledge your existence. It was only in the darkest of times that you helped me understand who I am, what I am. You shined a flashlight into my soul when darkness had all but encompassed it. Most importantly, and for this I will always cherish you – you told me the truth. You held a mirror in front of me and allowed me to see my reflection. You showed me my flaws and invoked shame in me when I needed it most. You reminded I had a lot of work left to do before I could look in the mirror again.
I write of you as if to make you a mere souvenir of the past, but that you are not. I do fear though that our best times are behind us. As I continue to get closer to her, I fear I will forget your face. But, you are more important to me than anything else, so I promise to protect you. Because in the end, you are all I will have, and that will need to be enough.
